| 10. Thank You daddy! | Little girl at a Baseball game |
| 9. I like video games, can I have one? | Big boy in Bismarck |
| 8. We're having a good time mommy! | Little boy at Bismarck fair |
| 7. k. just wanted to test this yokey out! | Lemonhead |
| 6. That's good.. call me ..ur comeback in uo.. | Seven Sign |
| 5. Athens, GR? (grin) | Renegade |
| 4. Hi Michael having a good day ? | Musicman |
| 3. What are you doing to my car? | Old lady by my house |
| 2. I dont like Taco Johns! | Little girl at Taco Johns |
| 1. They are wonderful daddy! | Little girl at baseball game |
Top 10 Alcoholic Beverages
July 21st, 2001:
| 10. Milwaukee's Best Beer | I drink it only when I need alcohol. |
| 9. Wine | Tis good on special occasions. |
| 8. Screwdrivers | Vitamin C and pissin outside every 10 mins. |
| 7. Heineken | A nice frosty brew. |
| 6. Budweiser | Excellent beer, without the heavy taste. |
| 5. Black Velvet | You wanna get drunk? Drink this! |
| 4. Keystone Ice | Always Smooth, Never Bitter. |
| 3. Natural Ice | Natural Ice is the shiznit! |
| 2. Smirnoff Ice | Tastes like Squirt, yet it gets ye drunk. |
| 1. Crown Royal Whiskey | Expensive, and by far the best alcohol! |
Top 10 Things To Do While You Are Drunk
July 21st, 2001
| 10. Pretend that you are godlike. | I knew someone who thought they were Satan. |
| 9. Listen to Marilyn Manson or Monster Magnet. | Listening to these made him think he was Satan. |
| 8. Dress up like a woman. | Something that you only do when you're drunk. |
| 7. Run around outside yellng. | Dont let the coppers catch you. |
| 6. Play Goldeneye. | A 3 yr old can beat you when yer drunk. |
| 5. Talk to people you dont know well. | Its fun making an ass out of yourself! |
| 4. Watch Jim Carrey Movies. | Its always good to laugh so bad you vomit. |
| 3. Smoke. | Cigarettes make me wanna wanga. |
| 2. Drink more. | You dont know when to quit when yer drunk. |
| 1. Pee. | How does it feel to be an all American? |